Hello! Did you know I’m also a creative coach?
Here is the latest tip I posted on my website: HealingCreativity.com to revive the artist in you!
When I feel sad, I allow my sadness to be expressed. When I feel angry, I allow my anger to be expressed. When I feel fearful, I allow my fear to be expressed. How? There are many different ways. Explore them and find the way that feels the best for you! Here are my ways:
When I’m sad, I cry and I let go. I also sometimes feel the need to write my sadness on paper, or through a drawing. “I feel sad because…” My sadness is a gift to let me know where I am now. Once expressed, I can start thinking of what it means and what do I need to feel better. But it is useless to try and deny it or try and stop it (unless it’s been days, in that case, ask for help!). What do I actually need? Usually sadness touches the need for being fulfilled, for giving a direction and meaning to our life. Personally, I’m sad when I feel useless. So I ask myself: what can I do to feel useful? (Next week, the tip is about “How to dialogue with your inner self!”)
When I’m angry, I shout my anger out. I’m often angry about myself but also about someone else! We are two in a relationship but I’m 100% responsible for my feelings and my actions. So I go outside and shout (not to someone else)! I just learned a Qigong movement called “Punching with angry eyes”: you fill your fist with energy in front of you, bring it close to your hip and then punch the air with a deep sound or loud outbreath. You do it several times alternating right and left fist. One way! What I also do is write/draw whatever comes in my sketchbook. It is a very good way to separate myself from my feelings, or at least take some distance. It is also a very good way to see who I am right now. My sketchbook is my mirror! Once my anger is out I can start thinking of transforming it into something more supportive.
Everything is energy, my anger (as well as any feelings) as well. So if I can use this energy in a way that supports myself as well as other people, it would be a pity not to do it!
Transformation: In the video I’m talking about making a sculpture in clay of that part of me that I’d like to love more, that “kill joy woman” in me. That’s one way. You can also draw a NEW YOU accepting this part of you inside you.
In a more practical way, you can transform yours words specially when talking to someone else, starting your sentence by “I FEEL angry because you did that” or “I FEEL angry when you do that” and NOT saying “YOU make me feel angry” or “YOU are so annoying”. When I start my sentence with “I FEEL” then there is no way the person in front of me will deny what I say as it is MY feeling. It is true to me. The communication can start again. Feeling angry is often a reaction to a need for being listened to, a need for asserting our identity. Once again, it is a gift for you to know what you need now. The question is: How can I express my anger/ need to claim my identity in a supportive way? What do I really want to say here?
When I’m fearful, I express my fear. Then I listen and I open my eyes. This one is a funny one. It feels so sneaky. Fear is so physical and at the same time so much based on our imagination. A famous acronym of FEAR is = False Expectations Appearing Real. I believe this is what it is. I feel fear when I’m caught in my negative thoughts, caught in my mind. But actually the question is: “What is really there?” Let’s take one example: I’m walking alone in the street at night. Suddenly I feel fear. I can say “I feel fear”: I label my feeling. Then, I can pause. I take three deep breaths and I ask myself: “What is really there?” I’m here walking, I’m fine, I listen to my breath, I’m fine, I go back to my body and I look around. What is there? Cars, trees, fresh air. I’m fine. I calm down and I remain open. I always go back back to what I can touch, my body. I’m safe.
Another example: I’m in my room and suddenly I think of the future. I suddenly think I will never be able to buy a house, will never be able to earn the amount of money that I need to live the life of my dream, and my boyfriend is not helping me, and my friend is not calling me, and that guy for this job is not answering the phone and… and… STOP! STOP! I even stretch my arm in front of me, my hand flat and perpendicular to the ground as if I were literally stopping this flow of thoughts: STOP! I label my feeling: “I’m now experiencing a flow of super negative thoughts that makes me feel super afraid of everything”. I take three big breaths. I’m fine. You can write these thoughts in your sketchbook if you want or even draw them, they are also a gift because they are telling you a lot about yourself, your beliefs and your need for security. Drawing or writing your fears is again a good way to take some distance from them and look at them in the eye.
But at the end, the only way you can feel safe, is to feel safe HERE and NOW. The only way to reach that feeling of SECURITY is by BEING in your body. That’s why so many people practice meditation and exercise regularly. Meditation is focusing on your BREATH and breathing is the first thing we do when we are born! It is the best way to feel grounded! Breathing consciously. Exercising is really good as well, swimming, walking, running, dancing, doing yoga or qigong, whatever sports you are into. By training yourself to be in your body at least 20 min per day is the best way to avoid being caught in your thoughts and experiencing fear. In that case the journal is only a way to identify your fears and take some distance. But if you want to release them I’d recommend to let go of your journal and go outside and walk in the woods for half an hour!
I didn’t expect it’d be so long today!
I hope it was useful! Please leave a comment on my blog if you feel like it!
Do you you want to experience a real boost in your creativity, your confidence and your joy?
Come and join us for a day to “REVIVE THE ARTIST IN YOU” through Meditation, drawing, writing and dancing (Biodanza with Vincent Leleux)!Allow yourself to feel good, let go of your old beliefs, let your creative flow run freely and discover the joy of being in power of your own life!
REVIVE THE ARTIST IN YOU: Saturday 30th October 10-5pm East London (Bethnal Green station). Exceptional price: £97 for 2 people if you book before 21st October 2010 + Free lunch + Free sketchbook + Free use of pastels, watercolour pencils, gouache and more.
I hope to see you there!
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